Because I’m a baseball fan, the Superbowl serves primarily to remind me that pitchers and catchers will soon report to spring training. That’s why I’m posting this puzzling clip from an article about a baseball game played last season:
I’ve read Lorenzen’s statement several times, and I still can’t figure out what he meant when he said that his miss needs to be in off.
Nor can I decode this pair of signs:
It’s clear that they sell CIGARETTES. In fact, they sell All brands of CIGARETTES. But I can’t figure out why NOW is underlined in the top sign and ALL in the second, or why there’s one line under the first CIGARETTES and two under the second. Increasing exasperation? Or does the store slap up a new sign every time someone asks whether they carry a particular brand?
Then there’s this ad. No problem decoding the first two lines, but the third is another story:
How, exactly, are feet relived? If they’re selling a return trip to an earlier era, sign me up. I’d like my feet to trek back in time to relive the early 70s. Maybe the 90s, too. Definitely not the 80s or most of this millennium. That much is clear, at least to me. How about you?
Okay, #1: I’m going to give this a try. “My miss(us) needs to be in her office early. It’s gotta be a ball, so the game can end right away, and that’ll mean an earlier bedtime for my miss(us). But no! It was a strike! So the game went on… and on…” Okay, I may have taken a couple of liberties…
#2: The sign below means just what it says. Or at least, it does, after someone added in “Brands of.” The sign above that one, with its *NOW* emphasis, is an apparently snarky dig at the first sign, which apparently was incorrect, since the brands of cigarettes that the store *used* to sell forgot to include this sign-maker’s favourite brand, but *NOW* it does.
#3 My feet would *definitely* like to relive the 1960s! 😀
Excellent theories, Ellie! A few liberties, to be sure — and my favorite kind!