The title of this post is a question because, well, these menu items are questionable. First up is a sign my granddaughter spotted. Check out the second-to-last line in the first column:
For the record, the topping we chose for our pizza was Cheese, not Grandma. We prefer not to eat relatives.
Nor did I order the last beverage on this menu:
I can put up with lousy tea if I’m really thirsty, but I draw the line at one louse. No LICED TEA for me!
If a judge grants me immunity from prosecution, I’ll eat this sandwich:
Side point: What does RELISH or an ONION have to do to be CRIMINALIZED? And where are offenders incarcerated? In a secure pantry?
I hope there’s no immunity for anyone who prepares or buys this sandwich:
The most benign interpretation of this label is that the Beagle acts as a serving platter, trotting to your table with neatly arrayed strips of meat on its fur. Surely the Health Department would object? A shudder-inducing possibility is that the Beagle is a component of the meal. In that case, send in a squad of Animal Welfare Officers, stat! Then let the rescued dogs frolic here:
Even if they weigh less than 25 lbs, dogs deserve some fun. So do you, and I hope you had some reading this post.
Liked the post, although it is definitely cringe-worthy!
Thanks, Charlotte!
I would have the large bread with the Grandma because according to the menu, it only comes in large.
True! I guess small grandmas are safe!
OMG! Okay, I seem to recall the wonderful first novel of Margaret Atwood, “The Edible Woman.” I do *not* remember any sequel called “The Edible Grandma.”
“Liced” tea is terrible enough, but at first glance I thought it said *licked* tea. Worse? Or same? Lol!
Criminalized is *quite* a reach from “caramelized” – but I understand it. Har!
The really odd thing about pastrami (or any filling for that matter!) on a “beagle,” is: how on earth does the writer pronounce “bagel,” in order for him to think there’s an “e” in there? Argh.
Large breads are nice. Especially The golden retriever bread. So friendly – and crumbly!
When I finally get to Montreal, we can share some pastrami, as long as it’s not on a beagle. Congratulations on the article about you, Ellie. Very impressive!
Certainly I had, as always! It’s impossible not to have fun, learn, and be keener on language reading your blog.
Real-life English at its best!
Thanks for your kind words!