Grammar has a bad reputation, which it sometimes deserves, because many grammar rules are just conventions. You wouldn’t misunderstand this sentence if I deleted the apostrophe, would you? But some rules, such as those governing the placement of descriptions, serve a real purpose. That purpose is clarity, which this label lacks:
There’s no cat or chicken in my New York City apartment, so I am clueless about the nature of the product in this photo, which my friend Catherine sent me. So help me out here, cat/chicken fans: Is this FOR or FROM a chicken that lives indoors? Can an indoor cat eat outdoor chicken? Side point: Does the designation kittens to adults mean that this product is intended only for the feline equivalent of a teenager?
The next photo comes from my friend Mary:
I’ve watched Ray’s show and feel confident that she’s neither a cannibal nor a dog killer. Thus I’m not asking law enforcement to find out whether there are any missing Ray relatives, and I won’t petition the SPCA to check on the dog, who appears uncooked and healthy in this photo. However, I wouldn’t mind turning the headline writer over to the grammar police on a first-degree, misplaced-modifier charge.
I also recommend that law enforcement investigate this business, a restaurant in Midtown I glimpsed through a bus window. I was so surprised by the sign that I hopped off at the next stop and walked ten blocks back to double-check:
Pharmaceutical catering? Huh. What exactly is on the menu? Have these caterers given a whole new meaning to “food for thought”? Has the Food and Drug Administration approved the menu? Should the Drug Enforcement Agency get involved?
All this talk of food has given me an appetite. As I tuck into my indoor, completely legal, non-psychoactive lunch, I wish you bon appetit with yours.
I always enjoy reading your posts and today was no different, but a little more dangerous than normal. I found the pharmaceutical bit so funny that I laughed and inhaled a piece of my lunch. While bent over hacking away, and trying to avoid inhaling the invader any more deeply, it occurred to me that I might need help. I live alone, though. I was reminded of hearing that somewhere in Asia it is customary for people to stay at the table if they’re choking so they can get help.
All is well now and I’ve decided that the next time I choose to read your emails while eating, I’ll make sure I’m out in a public place 😉
Oh my goodness! I’m glad you are well!
O my lord! Where are the grammar cops when we need one?! (It makes me nostalgic for my old column, Friday Follies!) Some things are just hopelessly wrong. Apparently it’s too hard to read one’s sign over after one has slaved over it, the font, size, colour, etc., all just right, except – completely ridiculous word placement! Ay yi.
I do miss Friday Follies, Ellie!
Can also two commas, one after “cooking” and another following “family,” straighten the headline out?
Rachel Ray finds inspiration in cooking, her family, and her dog.
Yes! Excellent solution.