In the spirit of “colossal olives,” which is marketing-speak for “large,” I’m seeing language moving up on the intensity meter. Nothing seems to be “good” anymore. Good is the new so-so, and fair is foul these days, as it was in Macbeth. I give my order to a waiter, who replies, “Awesome!” Somehow, the tuna-on-rye, though tasty, does not move me to awe. A simple “good choice” works just fine.
I was thinking about this intensification trend when I saw these signs. Here’s one demonstrating way too much enthusiasm:
Special isn’t enough. They’re going for “special!!!”
If the masseuse feels that much passion, I doubt I want the service offered. The masseuse may be, well, a practitioner in another business entirely. On the other hand, the sign writer, not the masseuse, may be the overly enthusiastic one. After all, Massage Special!!! was on the same street as this awning:
Note the name of this deli.
I wonder who owns this deli? The artist once “formerly” and then again known as Prince? I also wonder how employees answer the phone. “Hello, this is !!!!!”? How exactly do you pronounce five exclamation points?
Or six?
Time to calm, down, people. Or perhaps I should say, in the spirit of the age, “Time to calm down, people!!!!!!!”