Today’s post is a menagerie of (mostly) imaginary animals, such as the one in this sign, sent by my friend Sean:

What’s your favorite large bread dog? I prefer a whole wheat pug, though they seldom weigh 25 lbs and over. (A pumpernickel Great Dane is a safer bet.) I’d take either of those to a picnic in this dog park, along with some peanut butter and strawberry jam.

A large bread dog is as imaginary as the animal on this sign, which was painted on a van I assume was headed off to Power Wash itself:

Question: Is an Air Duck a different species, or is it any sort of duck, say a Mallard or a Muscovy, that wandered into a air duct? Random fact before I move on: Wikipedia informs me that a psychologist spent a year determining that ducks attract more jokes than any other animal. Random-fact-related question: Who funds studies like this?

I’m divided on the merits of the product advertised on this sign, another contribution from Sean:

The price is right, but intimidation crab meat is a little aggressive, don’t you think? Maybe I’ll serve it to my favorite frenemy. No matter what, I won’t serve this:

Missing from this sign, I really really hope, are two words after fine foods: “for pets.”

That’s it for today. I’m off to cuddle, not eat, the family dog.