In the “what on earth does that mean?” category, here is the latest batch of signs to stop me in my tracks. Once more I admit (maybe submit?) to the title “Grumpy Grammarian,” but really, what are these people trying to say?
First up is a poster in the window of a small copy shop in midtown:
Window tint print here?
After three or four visits to this block (no, I’m not that obsessive about signs, but one of my favorite bars is nearby), I finally decided that window tint print is the sort of film that sits on a window and lets some light through — enough light so that whoever buys it can claim that it doesn’t detract from the experience of, for example, a tourist peering through a shrink-wrapped bus. I guess imagination applies to the message on the window tint, and protection is the window tint itself. And what’s with the new? Was the old window tint inferior? Nonexistent? Feel free to come up with your own interpretation. Stop by the shop to see whether you’ve guessed correctly. (Then hit the bar across the street. It serves good beer.)
Next up is this neon sign, glowing prettily and selling — well, I don’t know what this store is selling. Does anyone know what “computer color graphic out put” is?
Out. Put.
If you’re going to invest in neon signage, it might be a good idea to check your message. What are you putting and where, exactly, is out? Maybe they mean that you upload a color image (a graphic) and then it’s printed? Or beamed directly to the intended viewers’ eyeballs? (Targeted marketing, you know, is trending.)
The next sign has the advantage of being crystal clear, if somewhat unwelcoming. Not for New Yorkers those syrupy signs saying “I heart you” or “NYC hearts all those annoying tourists who bump into us natives on the sidewalk or hesitate two nanoseconds on the coffee shop line.” This one displays New York snark, my favorite tone:
New York does not
“heart” you.
One last sign. I don’t mind being commanded to play. I’m totally fine with the order to dine. But how do you unwind games? And not to be picky (okay, to be super-picky), the sign should read “more than” 5000 games, not “over.” (More than or fewer than is the expression you want for things you can count. Over and under work for quantities you measure.)
I’m “minutes away” from giving up on properly written signs. Join me there whenever you like.