Pretty much everyone I know has been debating The Debate since it ended, analyzing every facial expression, body movement, and comment. It’s time to take a break! Apply your analytical skills to these signs and answer the questions that follow. Send me your answers, but don’t expect any prizes. Sign number one:
No ordinary palms.
Questions: Is your palm special? Is it worth ten dollars?
On to sign number two:
Shorten your doctors here.
What sort of alteration does this shop offer to professionals? Does it nip in a billowy lawyer, cut up a surgeon, or dye a mortician? OR – Do they think other shops employ amateur tailors?
And sign number three, from an awning on a busy Manhattan street:
Serving Manhattan’s farm animals.
Does East 74th Street qualify as “country”? Do the proprietors believe that farmers will bring their livestock there? Or do the proprietors need “professional alteration” (see sign number three)?
Now for my favorite:
What’s a “tworl”?
Is this a line from “Jabberwocky”? If not, what does it mean?
1. It depends. To me my palm is worth a lot more than $10, at least five figures (one for each finger).
2. Who knows what anybody thinks any more. I’ll tell you one thing, though, if my alteration was a circumcision–think Bernard Malamud’s “The Assistant”–I’d definitely opt for a professional and the same day service.
3. E. 74th Street definitely does not qualify as country, thus obviating the other two questions.
4. A Tworl is a wire rack for a store that sells body parts.
Hilarious, Bill! I love the definition of a “tworl.”
Well I guess somehow I missed the 74th Street farm. Next time I’m in the city I’ll definitely look harder!
I think the tworl is what our tennis player, Genie Bouchard, was asked to perform after she won a round at the Australian Open a couple of years ago. The on-court commentator/announcer said, as he complimented her cutesie tennis dress, “Give us a tworl, there, would you?” Oh wait, that was a twirl. My bad.
BTW: Happy birthday for yesterday! Hope you had a great day!