Like a squirrel hoarding nuts, I’ve been stockpiling a few mysterious signs, hoping that at some point their meanings will emerge. These signs, all from shops selling food, defeat and delight me. I offer one or two interpretations and invite you to add your own commentary. First up is this beauty, which appears on a chalkboard in front of a hip (i.e. overpriced) restaurant:
I prefer maximal, myself.
My interpretation: You may find a grain or two (sand? wheat? spelt?) in the food, but grainophobes have nothing to fear here. Same restaurant, different sign:
Bring a lasso.
My interpretation: The loaf lopes around the dining room. If you can catch it, you can eat it. Or, the loaf parties all night and won’t follow any rules.
One more, from a different store:
Two-foot ceilings?
My interpretations: This shop (a) sells neatly ironed, fruit-based beverages or (b) was a normal- height building before King Kong’s foot flattened it.
Your ideas are welcome. As you interpret the meaning, though, keep in mind that these signs appear in New York City, which may be defined as having a
Oh, yes we do.
i pressed it and nothing happened
ps really loved the loaf!
why does it say my comment is “awaiting moderation”? (grammarian, edit thyself??)
I see all the comments before they appear on the website. Don’t worry, you’ll always have my approval!
I think that meatloaf really likes to party! By the end of the night, it’s wearing a lampshade.
Having visited NYC a number of times due to my son’s residing there (okay, Brooklyn, actually, a *hipper* NYC now?!)… I agree re the nuts!
The signs are hilarious! I love your sentiments and can’t improve on them!! 😀
Thanks, Ellie. If you’re in NYC and have some free time, let me know and we can meet for coffee — and meet each other in person!
From my friend Pilar comes this interesting interpretation of the “pressed juicery”:
A shop in a hurry or without enough time or just stressed.
Before presuming bragging rights to living in the city with the widest variety of nuts, consider that Los Angeles (West LA, to be exact) is the home of the first pressed juicery shop.
I cede the title!