Category Archives: Now trending

Observing and all too often criticizing language trends

Expensive Words

Every trip to the store reminds me that inflation isn’t just for balloons. I don’t pretend to understand the economic forces involved, but I do know some things that inflate the cost of food. Here’s one:

General rule: If you double the P in “shop,” you double the price. Which is understandable, because it’s expensive to import food from the 16th century.

Another general rule is “fancy language equals fancy prices,” especially when the words are associated with Britain:

“Made to order” isn’t cheap, but it is cheaper than “bespoke.” I would deduct 10% from the price for misspelling “disappoint,” however.

A variation of the fancy language rule sets higher prices to anything described by a three-syllable word that most people have to look up in a dictionary:

A “distributor” can’t charge as much as a “purveyor.” Oh, and “chefs” pay more than “cooks.”

To sum up: If you’re on a tight budget, stay away from shoppes that are purveyors of bespoke fruit baskets.

Happy In(ter)dependence Day

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Today Americans celebrate Independence Day. Barbecues aren’t an option in my dense, cement-covered portion of New York City, and I generally go to sleep around the time Macy’s sets off its first firework. Lacking traditional outlets, this year I’m dedicating my holiday to grammar. (Do I know how to have a good time or what?)

An obscure grammar rule holds that collective nouns (jury, class, committee, etc.) are singular when everyone in the group is united in performing the same action (The drama class meets every Wednesday) and plural when the group is divided or acting individually (The cast are writing “Best Actor” acceptance speeches). This convention is followed more often in the Britain than in the US. Americans are more likely to employ a singular verb (The cast is writing) than pair a collective noun with a plural verb. To American ears, “the cast are” just sounds wrong.

Lately I’ve been wondering if this usage mirrors an ideal embedded in the fundamental fabric of the country — in its very name, which declares that individual entities (States) are United. The same ideal appears in America’s self-definition (melting pot) and motto (E Pluribus Unum — “Out of many, one“). The preamble to the Constitution begins “We the people,” emphasizing unity.

Of course, the people granting themselves rights in the Constitution excluded an awful lot of Americans. In the preamble, they acknowledged that their work was flawed, declaring that they were striving for a Union that was more perfect — not actually perfect. And despite their shortcomings, the Founders’ goals were worthy: “to establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity.”

With all this in mind, I suggest that instead of focusing on the Declaration of Independence this July 4th, we celebrate the preamble to the United States Constitution. At the very least, its minimal length (52 words) allows more time for the barbecue-inclined. At best, the preamble may prompt us to rededicate ourselves to interdependence, to the notion that what’s good for all of us is good for each of us. Perhaps then this divisive era will become less so, and pairing a singular verb with the collective noun, American citizenry, will be both accurate and grammatically correct. Happy July 4th!

During the Pandemic

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From time to time I catch myself saying during the pandemic while talking about some event in the past two years. But during the pandemic is, in fact, now. Covid is still with us, despite the fact that many people, myself included, really want this disease to go far, far away and stay there.

I favor precision in language, so once I noticed the problem with during the pandemic, I cast about for better wording. I tried during lockdown. But that phrase is awfully vague, as restrictions have come and gone and sometimes come again in various parts of the United States and around the world.

I had a brief fling with when Broadway closed down, but people who don’t follow theater were mystified. I considered when there were refrigerated morgue trucks parked in my neighborhood. That’s an accurate description of the spring of 2020 in New York City, but it’s kind of a conversation killer. No pun intended.

For a while I marked pandemic time by referring to waves, as in “During the first wave I played way too much sudoku.” But New York’s first wave — tsunami, really — isn’t aligned with the first wave elsewhere. Plus, by now I can’t remember which wave we’re in. Third? Fourth? Lately I’ve relied on references to variants and shots, as in “right before Omicron” and “between my first two vaccinations and Delta.” Those expressions are imprecise, to be sure, but for the moment they’re the best I’ve got.

What to do? This sign sums up the situation:

Practicing has several meanings, one of which implies a work in progress. When it comes to Covid and our response to it, that’s where — actually, when — we are.